“‘Cause honey I’ll come get my things, but I can’t let go/I’m waiting for it, that green light, I want it/ Oh, I wish I could get my things and just let go/I’m waiting for it, that green light, I want it. “-Lorde
Dear Coffee Date,
I missed March. It was too hard, so I took a step back because I knew that I had nothing positive to say. I knew that at the end of the day, I couldn’t look you in the eye and say, “I’m okay.” I wasn’t.
I’m better now, so let’s do coffee. Let’s talk life. Today is beautiful, so let’s grab the keys.
If we were on a coffee date, I’d say let’s grab the coffee and go. Anywhere. Name the place. Let’s just get out of this town, or at least out of this county. Let’s go sit by the lake and flesh out all these old wounds. Let’s go the back way and have a good cry.
Oh and also, I’d grab a Venti Flat White with skim milk because life. Starbucks is bae.
If we were on a coffee date, we’d have very short playlist as I’ve been obsessed with like two songs and just re-discovered Relient K. It would go as follows:
- Green Light by Lorde–“I wish I could pack my bags and just let go.” WHAT.
- Avalanche by FLETCHER– “Everybody wants their shot, but you’re bulletproof.”
- My Own Worst Enemy by Casting Crowns– “God help me get away, Break these chains and set me free.”
- Million Reasons by Lady Gaga– “I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away, But baby I just need one reason to stay.”
- How Do You Like Me Now by Toby Keith– “I only wanted to catch your attention, But you overlooked me somehow.”
- Forget and Not Slow Down by Relient K–“How many times can I push it aside? Is it time I befriended all the ghosts of all the things that haunt me most? So they leave me alone.”
- Big Girls Cry by Sia– “And I don’t care if I don’t look pretty, Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking.”
If we were on a coffee date, I’d unload the story. Nearly two months ago, I was let go from my position and the past two months have been the most difficult of my life. It wasn’t anything I’d done or anything I really could’ve predicted or prevented because they wanted to part ways to let me follow my passion. Small problem, though, in that…my passion isn’t exactly paying at the moment. So I’m looking for work. And I’m trying to pick up the pieces of a life that seems to get more complicated the further I go. But the thing is, coffee date? I never thought it could hurt so bad. I never thought it could make me feel so worthless and purposeless…but…I have to admit that I really believe that God is going to use this hard thing to create a turning point in my life. I really believe hope is still alive.
If we were on a coffee date, I’d unload the story part two. Two weeks ago, I saw that the church I’ve been going to holds intercessory prayer meetings every two weeks. I felt this tugging, so I very reluctantly went with the thought that I was going for my family. I was wrong–I was supposed to go for me. It was incredible. Holy Spirit showed up and these women spoke words of life over me and I cried basically the whole time.
If we were on a coffee date, I’d talk about Charlie. Charlie is the main character/narrator in my book and I’m having the best time creating who he is. It’s crazy how attached you can get to characters, whether you’re reading about them or creating them for others to read but…it’s wild. And especially what this character is meant to represent…I’m just…in love completely with this book I’m working on.
If we were on a coffee date, I’d ask you what you’ve been reading lately. I’m currently working through two: Without Rival by Lisa Bevere and I just started The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman. Without Rival is incredible and all about self-worth, so if you still don’t know who you are go get a copy.
If we were on a coffee date, I’d ask about your season of life. Where are you at? Where are you going? And who are your people? Are they taking care of you? If not, I’d tell you to find new ones. Find the people who get you. Find the people who stay up with you until 4:30 over coffee. Find the people who see a status and text you, “So which McDonald’s are we going to?” Find the people who will go see Beauty and the Beast ten times in theater with you. And hey, coffee date? You deserve to find your people. You’re worth it. Go get ’em.
Much love, coffee date.