“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”-Matthew 5:14-16
It’s mid-October and I’m watching the way the afternoon shadows dance with the light across my bedroom floor. I pause, studying the way the remaining light fights with the shadows, bending and twisting across the rug. The light looks overcome, beaten back by the ruthless darkness. After a moment, I realize(/subconsciously remember that scientific definition) that the darkness actually isn’t winning at all. It’s just that the light isn’t there.
I sent a text to my family with my new, so-simple “revelation” but that’s all I did with it.
Fast-forward a few weeks and I’m in Houston for my first day of work, this traveling job that terrifies and challenges me all at the same time. That first Saturday morning, I grab my Bible and scribble down those three verses in Matthew 5 down on an index card and shove it deep into my back pocket. Maybe if it goes with me physically it will stay with me mentally. Maybe this time I’ll believe it: you are light, Amanda. And you are loved.
I didn’t believe it, though. I didn’t really believe it at all that weekend. Or in the days that followed where winter came too quickly and old ghosts in the closet reminded that they hadn’t been dealt with yet.
But one question has been on the back-burner of my mind since Houston. . .what would happen if I did believe that I was the light of the world? That I was part of something greater than myself? That I mattered? What would change? And how do you get to the point where you believe it? If we are in Christ, then we are the light of the world. . .but why does it feel so dark? And is that darkness in me or am I like a candle surrounded by darkness?
These questions are the reason I have chosen ‘light’ as my word of the year. I have bucket lists for this year and I have goals, but this is really my only resolution: be the light. Walk in the light. Search out that meaning and hold on.
What are your resolutions for this year? Or do you have a word dedicated for this year? Comment below and tell me what’s up!
Coming up next: being clean.